We recently had the best bike experience ever at Reckless Bikes. Stopped in for some free air (if you had windows, they’d wash those for you too), and got to discussing all the improvements we could make on our rides (Carleen: whitewall tires, new wheels, a good lube, possibly a paint job; Terri: new brakes, tires) with the extremely helpful gentlemen who work there.

Here’s how our fun-filled hour went down…

“Manager Guy” Ryan: Carleen, if you’re looking to really pimp out your ride, I’d recommend dating one of us and getting it done for free. We could really make this bike into a beauty for you.

Carleen scans the bike shop, and fixates on one of the repair guys in the back. He’s wearing a shirt that says “Maria Taylor” on it, so we nickname him Maria. We all agree that he is Carleen’s new boyfriend, and inform him of this decision.

“Manager Guy” Ryan: OK, Terri. We’re going to need new brakes here, and…wow. I thought you said you needed lube? This bike is very well oiled. Carleen oils her all the time and still needs lube, yet you never do and your bike is fine. How does that work?

Terri: I must be a natural or something.

At this point, Ryan lures Terri aside to write out her invoice, as they’re going to do her brake pads immediately. He asks if she’s ever been to Rodney’s Oyster Bar. Terri inquires if he’s trying to ask her out on a date, and if that’ll get her a deal on her bike repairs.

We then hang out at the till, jesting with the staff and watching Maria replace Terri’s brake pads.

Carleen: Hey, boyfriend…Maria…how do you spell your real name? I should probably know these things if we’re going to be dating.

Maria: My real name is Yifan. Y-I-F-A-N. But all those letters are silent, it’s actually pronounced M-A-R-I-A.

We laugh hysterically. Maria hasn’t said much up to this point, but finally warmed up to our charms. Ryan takes another look at Terri’s tires, and advises she replace them.

Terri: I’ll hold off on the tires for a bit, just fix up my brakes today and I’ll bring it back soon.

Ryan: Fine. Ride your WHEELS OF DEATH!

Terri: I like to live on the edge, what can I say.

Ryan: Livin’ on the edge with your WHEELS OF DEATH!!

Another Reckless employee, Mike, enters the shop and yells something out, which we can’t understand. We were bopping to C+C Music Factory pretty intensely at this point. Minutes later, Ryan conveys that Mike had announced “We got a lecka schnecka on C!”

To our confused looks, Ryan explains that we were standing in section C, and that “lecka schnecka” is German for “tasty treat” and doubles as their code phrase for hot ladies in the shop. He then asks Terri if he can call the number on the invoice for non-bike related purposes.

Terri: Sure, but you have to take me somewhere better than Rodney’s for dinner.

Reckless. Ridiculously attentive staff, overwhelmingly skilled bike engineers, and if you ask really nicely they may just pump up the jam for you.